Yeah, that's me.
I recently ran across an article in the journal Faith and Philosophy, which is the journal of the Society of Christian Philosophers. The April 2004 volume of the journal has an article by Rebecca Konyndyk DeYoung that really caught my eye. Here are the opening two paragraphs of her article:
Almost a decade ago, I headed off to graduate school in philosophy. My first year was something approaching sheer misery – due partly to the extremely challenging and high-pressure work. But the worst of my misery was self-inflicted: I battled, for most of that first year, an overwhelming sense of inadequacy. As a result, I spoke in class only when I was forced to give a presentation, plagued by fears that others would think my ideas were silly, or stupid, or both.
When I later confessed this to a colleague, he said he felt the same way in grad school. (Why didn’t anyone warn me?) He also told me the official name for my neurosis: ‘Imposter Syndrome.’ When afflicted, you are certain that you were accepted (for graduate studies or a new job or whatever) by some terrible mistake. It is therefore only a matter of time before everyone realizes that you are in fact completely unqualified to be there. So you slink around trying to stay unnoticed lest you be unmasked as the imposter that you are and summarily dismissed in disgrace.
This describes me much of the time. I am not a confident person, no matter how much people try to encourage me. Though I’ve never heard of “Imposter Syndrome” before reading this article, I identified with it immediately. The concept seems to be kin to having low self-esteem, something I know I struggle with at times. Friends and work colleagues have at times described me as a “nice guy” and “humble.” Little did they know that my self-esteem doesn’t normally allow for much pride. Neither does it allow for being harsh with people. That doesn’t mean I don’t suffer from pride, as I think it’s a certain by-product of our (my) sin nature.
My guess is that many more people than you and I know suffer from Imposter Syndrome. Another guess is that many of these people would consider themselves “introverts” (I know I do). What do you think? Is Imposter Syndrome real? Do you or someone you know suffer from it? I’m interested to read your feedback.
